Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 365

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/ycv/_Castle/castle_referee.php on line 364

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마음깨우기 명상 후기 - [마스터 천도재] 열등이 약자를 죽이고 싶은 아픈 마음 | 영체마을

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일반 [마스터 천도재] 열등이 약자를 죽이고 싶은 아픈 마음

진아 2020-10-28 23:28

천도재가 있는 아침, 제일 먼저 혜라님께 맞고서라도 조상님들의 아픈 마음의 한과 엉어리를 풀어드리겠다고 했습니다.
제비뽑기의 결과는, 맨 마지막!
나의 집착으로 어떻게든 홀딱 조상님들을 보내드리고 나의 아픈 마음을 빨리 버리고 싶어하는 마음을 알아챘습니다.
이틀간 모든 동료 마스터들의 조상 마음을 만날 때 내 안에 같은 아픔들이 흘러나와 직시하고 인정하라고 조상님들이 안배해주셨음을 감사히 받아들이고 함께 울고 참회했습니다.

특히 바보의 마음을 보면서 내 안의 똑같은 바보에게 너무 미안했습니다.
순진하고 아무 것도 몰라서 아무 생각 없이 할 수 있는 게 바보구나, 가장 사랑하는 사람들을 죽거나 아프게 할 수 있다는 생각도 못하고 그냥 해버리는 바람에 가장 사람하는 사람에게 상처주고 아프게 한 기억들이 올라왔습니다.
그 죄책감과 어떻게 할 수 없는 열등이의 아픔이 너무 아파 오히려 병신같고 열등할 바에 차라리 죽어버리라고 공격하고 잔인하게 버리는 나를 보았습니다.
바보라서 남을 도울 수도 없고, 쓸모 없는 짐덩어리라서 방해하고 피해만 주는 존재라는 게 너무 수치스러워 그런 나를 죽여버리고 싶은 아픈 마음이었습니다.
바보의 마음을 있는 그대로 순진하고 귀엽다 받아들이지 못하고 분별하고 수치준 나의 죄를 참회했습니다.
나 바보야 으흐흐 ~ 순진하고 세상 편한 나의 바보야, 내가 많이 미안해!

그렇게 아픈 마음들을 느끼다보니 어느덧 마지막,
갑자기 8남매의 막내라서 쓸모 없는 존재감으로 아무도 관심 주지 않고 투명인간이 될 것 같아 부르기도 전에 이미 혜라님 앞에 앉았습니다.
이미 열등이 약자의 아픈 마음이 되어 혜라님 앞에 왔습니다.
다 빼앗기고 짓밟히고 버림받은 여자 열등이, 약자가 이해받을려고 왔습니다.
그러나, 정작 진짜 아픔은 이렇게 가슴 찢어지게 아픈 마음들을
세상이, 남자가, 타인이 아니라 바로 내 자신이 잔인하게 죽이는 것이었습니다.
빼앗기고 당하기만 하는 병신같은 여자라고 !
그 누구도 아니고 내 자신이 나의 약하고 열등한 여자를 인정해주지 않고 잔인하게 죽여버리는 그 살기에 너무 아팠습니다.
은장도로 나 자신을 찌르고 죽인 죄로 내 삶은 괴롭고 역경의 연속이었음에도 끝내 이해해주지 않고 죽인 잔인함이 너무 아팠습니다.
약자편에 서서 도와주겠다고 살아왔으나, 이렇게 독한 살기로 죽이고 이해해주지 않았으니. . 너무 아팠습니다.

약육강식!
약자와 강자 사이에서 약자를 무시하고 강자에게 눈치보며 살아가는 진짜 약자, 그런 약자를 절절이 미워하고 거부하는 진짜 열등이의 마음을 보았습니다.
그런 내 안의 약자를 끝내 인정해주지 않는 내가 너무 아픕니다.
상대가 강자일 때 차마 못하다가 약자가 되었을 때 비겁하고 잔인하게 공격하는 찌질하고 열등한 모습을 보는 것이 너무 괴로왔습니다.
그래서 이렇게 아픈 채 살아가는 것보다 차라리 스스로 죽일 수밖에 없는 시리도록 아픈 마음들을 다 느껴달라고 많은 할머니 조상들이 왔습니다. 얼마나 아팠나요. . .
세상의 모든 여자 그리고 약자의 마음을 이해해주지 않는 나의 죄를 용서해 주세요.

수많은 할머니 여자 조상들이 천도되면서 산처럼 쌓일만큼 많은 은장도를 선물로 주셨다고 합니다.
이제 더 이상 자신을 공격하지 않아도 된다고, 편히 쉴 수 있다고 다 두고 떠나셨습니다.
이 아픈 마음을 죽이고 싶을 때마다 알아채라고, 인정하라고 그리고 그 에고를 죽여서 진정 살리고 또 살리라고 하십니다.
아무리 약하고 쓸모 없고 열등한 마음이라도 다 인정해서 비로소 죽이고 살리기를 원하시는 영체께 의탁하며 살아가겠습니다.

혜라님, 마음의 엄마가 돼주셔서 너무너무 감사합니다.
어떤 마음이라도 다 이해하고 받아주시는 크고 놀라운 혜라님의 사랑을 깊이 받았습니다.
혜라님이 아니라면 저는 이미 죽었습니다.
혜라님처럼 목숨 바쳐 영체께 순종하며 온 맘 다해 살리고 사랑을 주는 존재가 되겠습니다.
가슴 깊이 감사드리고 따르겠습니다.
사랑해요 혜라엄마~